The problem is, we want to create different things.
I want to create absolute order. No not order. I make things for the sole purpose of that object or design resonating with me. It has to fit. i make it to fit how i think it should go. I want to make a home that is an idea in my mind.
It seems to me you want to make things for a much more feasible accomplishable reason. I can't make gifts. They never turn out the way the person i give them to would like them because i am inherently vain and make everything for myself for my own pleasure in the result
I have trouble with class projects for that reason. I suck at making things by other peoples specifications.

I miss you ,more often than you would think. definitely more than you miss me. but all the way to LA is a lot of gas, and I'm scared of freeways. I day dream to much to drive in traffic I'll die that way.
More than that. I can never seem to cut down to my soul with you. You make me different, less calm more cocky, you make me too solid for my own good. At home, on my own, I'm more like mist... you make me condense. I rain. I pour. I want to mellow out and think well but i know there isn't time for slow talks, a few ideas strung out over several minutes. it comes out like electricity. Everything is saturated. It's blinding, it covers up the feelings underneath subtle things. You make me feel overwhelming. like i am too much of the wrong things, maybe it's the comparison i make between myself worth and how you are always just enough of the right things to make me want to stay forever and to make me ashamed at my alternating abundance and lack.

You look at the world in a way i do not.
I look at the world and never manage to slip into place, i'm never a part. I always feel awkward in my skin. The times i feel at home people are looking at me and i know i'm the better half of the picture. Maybe it's because those moments it's okay to feel seperate because people are percieving you as seperate. The center of attention is'nt part they are apart, being looked at. it's like someone took scisors to my mind and told me never to feel like part of the group. The funny thing is i dont mean it in a pretensious way, and i am afriad i come off that way. I feel like i am broken, like i was made wrong. everyone else is normal i'm the one who got messed up.
It's not a good feeling.
I watch people too. I wonder what they are thinking. I wonder if they worry when they walk how the are walking.

I wonder if they think that every one doesnt like them . I wonder if they think i am annoying.
I wonder if they care what others think or if they are lucky enough to be caught up in thier own lifes not to notice